Not a Fantasy but a Harmless Reality: Jadoo's Corner.


JADOO’S CORNER : NOT A FANTASY BUT A HARMLESS REALITY

Dear members, let me propose you a little ride out of the jungle. As Maria did tell you, I’m not here to write about cannibalism as a fantasy, but as a harmless, if not always painless, relative to bdsm concrete sex game.

Very few pairs have the will or the opportunity to live their so-called cannibal desires that way. But very few don’t mean no one. My hubby and I often share our games with another pair in France. And we know another one, near our country. I have the hunch that actually some pairs would be ready to step to the line, but don’t dare to do so.

However, these people are just like us: we are the woman and the guy next door, normal people, not pornstars, neither sex freaks on the loose! Are we more open-minded? I don’t think so, we are sex-crazed, ok, we are practicing bdsm for a long time, that’s true, but believe me, you have no idea of how many pairs are bdsm’ers behind the close door of their bedroom. And even more are great fans of soft submission games, like simple bondage, spanking, and so on.

Amongst all these girls and boys, I am pretty sure that some of them have cannibal fantasies. Yet, very few will try to convert these dreams into real, harmless, sexual practices. Why? Because if we women we know how to softly suggest something, our masculine partners are not very good at that… I have noticed that for the three pairs I know as mock cannibal sex practitioners, the initial suggestions came from the women. Are you mute you guys? Or are you too shy? Maybe are you just too clumsy.

Coming out of the cannibal jungle is not so difficult. Let me give you some clues.

Of course, don’t ever think that your desires to experiment kinky ways to make love can become a reality without love. If your wife or girlfriend don’t feel a really deep affection toward you, nothing is possible. A long term relationship can help, but the basic ingredient is and will always be love…

Then, you have to understand something about the feminine psyche. Many girls have weird and beautiful fantasies, just like you. But, unlike you, we are more complex in our translation from the fantasy to the concrete envy. Please cut the simplistic “if I could, would I do it?” craps! Just try our way “if I could, what parts of my dreams would I make come true?” And, more important, “with whom would I make it come true?”

I give you an example. I have had cannibal fantasies since my youth. No parts of them were gore, so the day I suggested my husband to try to make it for real, I had in mind to transpose my whole fantasies into reality, and with my husband, nobody else.

I know a friend of mine, from Belgium, who has had the same fantasies, but with some gore, aspects. She never wondered about the possibility to make the whole thing become a reality, she instinctively selected the doable parts of it, and well before the day she began to realize that it could come true. And, like me, she never thought it could be done with somebody else than her life partner. 

You got me? We women have two different ways to fantasize. A very weird one, like men, I call that the deep level. But we also have a more realistic one, call it the upper level, and our true desires come directly from there, not from the deep level. That’s why it’s so easy for us to operate the selection between doable and undesirable things: the obviously undoable and/or undesirable stuff never reach the upper level.

If you spice your cannibal dreamed fantasies with gore/snuff, well, this is your life! Yet, if you think you can suggest your life partner to try some sex games associated with mock cannibalism that include mocking snuff, you are a fool. A psychically healthy woman can fantasize about gore, but it will never become a theme of masturbation for her. Even less would she enjoy being part of any fake snuff roleplaying scenario you could suggest: she will just shit her pants first, and then call her lawyer.  

Well, let us admit that you will never bother your wife with the dark side of your dreams. Is it to say that you can whisper to her ear “darling, tonight I want to roast you, and then eat you, in a harmless way, do you agree?” Sorry, but once again I think she will call the police before the end of your sentence!

A woman can easily suggest a new sex game to her lover. We know how to handle that. For men, it’s more difficult: the kinkiest the game, the hardest the task… It’s understandable, we demand to be seduced, and we don’t give a shit to the fact we are married to you for many years: you have to tease and tempt us, period.

Is it so difficult to be a lover and not just a great laid? Be smart, charming, sexy, cautious, and patient. If she loves soft sexual food games, if she loves soft bondage, it’s a good start. And what if she don’t? Too bad for you, alas, I fear that your fantasies are so different from hers that you better go no further. This is her freedom, and you have to respect it.

But if you feel she really enjoys food games and soft bondage, then talk to her mind, not to her ears. The secret of our feminine wonderful orgasms relies as much in our brains than in our clitoris and pussies. Once again, be patient, what are a few months in a pair’s life? Let her feel that you’re the Big Nice Wolf, that she’s the lamb, but that she’s your Love Goddess too.

More food games, more soft bondage, sex is funny, so be funny! Make her smile and… accustomed her to be oiled (I mean body oil at that point) and to be stuffed with a little banana. Put a cherry into her mouth and kiss her, stroke very softly her breasts with a fork, put a napkin around your neck before sucking her tits, and keep in mind that your voice and your words are potent weapons! Yes, I will eat you my love, you are so beautiful and tender, yum yum, let me eat your pussy!

You are guiding her first little steps into a new universe: a world where women and men are cooked and eaten, at no real pain, at no risk , risk, what risk, is orgasm risky? If she has somewhere in her mind even the smallest seed of fake cannibalism and/or submission fantasy, your soft and slow approach will make it blossom.

But you will quickly find out that is a difficult task to constantly keep your self-control, to restrain your desire to go further, at a more intense pace. Listen to me very carefully: even if you’re on the verge of success, you are also dancing on the edge of the blade. Be hasty, and you will fail, and it would be a definitive failure.

The day she will feel that this prequels to real mock cannibal sex games are a sublime way to improve the strength of the final wild cunnilingus that make her come so hard, the day she will admit that “being prepared for cooking” arouses her so much that at the very moment you begin to lick her clit she explodes in endless waves of pleasure, she will connect the dots by herself: the kinkier and dirtier the stuff, the better the orgasms. She will be ready to evolve toward harsher, but safe and harmless, sex games relative to fake cannibalism . What games exactly? We will see that in my next post.  

That day, tell her only about the doable parts of your fantasy. Keep your mouth shut about the undoable parts of it, do not evoke the gore aspects if any, even in a humorous way. Explain her why and how, urge her to understand that you will decide as a pair of the ways you will make your common envy real.

Eventually, tell her that this game , you will take the time it will take to make it harmless and perfectly safe , painless if she wants so, and that your personal pleasure is nothing but a little part of the future achievement: her own sexual happiness.

Next time: from soft games to more serious things, enjoy a safe cannibalistic way of life!

                                                           XO                  Jadoo






JADOO’S CORNER (2) : THE SAFE WAY



Dear members, would you join me for a second ride out of the jungle? Once again, I am not here to discuss about cannibalism as a fantasy, but as a safe and harmless  tangible sex game.  Yes, real games, kinky and delightful, sophisticated but not dangerous, nearly painless if you want so, or a little bit painful if such are your desires.

Of course, a strong common desire, shared by both of you and your lover, to make this envy come true is essential. Anyway, it will not induce by itself the possibility to realize it. I am not the Wizard of Oz, so don’t expect from me something like “it’s simple, you do this, and then you do that”. And why not “fetch, play dead, roll over”? J No, I will just tell you how it began for me, and how a long way eventually led me to a wonderful achievement. 

I think that my cannibal sex –weird but non-gore– fantasies came to me just after I did experiment bondage with one of my female lovers (I am bisexual) when I was 18. Before that, I just showed a loose interest for some erotic cartoons based on bondage and fake cannibalism, so my guess is that the fact I immediately enjoyed being tied up acted as a catalyst. 

I met my husband when I was 23, he was the man of my life, he was handsome, he was a good man, and he was an astounding “classic” lover… Anyway, after two years, it became obvious that our sexual life was too ordinary for a couple like us: we were both attracted by far more bizarre sexualities. We made our first steps as bdsm practitioners, under the guidance of experimented people. As many pairs we immediately took a subtle pleasure to switch between the dominant and submissive roles.

This opened wide the doors of a beautiful and strange world, in which classic sex and alternative ways to make love get mixed up and improve the strength of the orgasms. Nothing is perverse between lovers… But this also led us to adopt three Major Rules. All our games had to be harmless if not always painless, safe, with the only purpose of bringing sexual pleasure to the both of us.

A few years ago, the classic food games we used to enjoy since the beginning of our relationship evolved toward something more cannibalistic, so to speak. The Chantilly on my tits and the banana in my pussy were replaced by Béchamel warm sauce and a cucumber, the handcuffs by full body bondage, and so on. It happened naturally, people accustomed to kinky sexualities have a knack to modify basic sexual practices before they became boring.

This had a side effect. My almost forgotten dreams about making for real my cannibal fantasies under the form of a harmless sex game made their come-back. Since the day we met in 1995, my husband and I we figured out that things goes easier when we talk to each other… So I talked to him. He was very intrigued, a bdsm’er is seldom reluctant to think about and eventually try something, if it’s safe and funny.

Actually, the evolved version of fake cannibal sex games is nothing more than a mix between torough food games, and bdsm-style “heath” games (hot wax, candle’s heat) kept at a low intensity level. This helped us greatly. I understand that some other pairs would have been stopped by the painful/painless problem, but it didn’t bother us. Our sado masochistic enjoyments taught us a long time ago that pain is a factor really easy to control, you can always modulate it from 0 to x.
Besides, and even if we were sure that we could make our new desires come true in a totally painless way,  for us, a controlled pain within our limits never proved itself an obstacle to the ensuing sexual pleasure, it was rather a booster.

We tried! How did we do that? You know, roasting harmlessly a man’s “sausage”, or woman’s breasts, over a camp stove isn’t a big deal. It’s the way you do it that matters, as well as your purpose. Do it as a bizarre but safe and sublime way to make love with your life partner, for her/his pleasure, or don’t do it at all. We were extremely cautious, and the cook was always fully dedicated to the “prey”, her sexual pleasure, and her safety.   

The only problem is that the seasoning/stuffing/oiling/basting/poking with a fork/ process arouses you so much that it is difficult not to have an orgasm during it. And even more during the roasting! The climax -wild and terrific oral sex- always ended up with an eaten victim begging the “cannibal” to eat her again and again and again. Our reactions were enthusiastic. ,

My husband was perfectly happy like that. Yet, I wasn’t fully satisfied.  My dreams were invoking a more complex form of so-called cannibalism. I don’t mean something gore, but a more realistic method of cooking the meal. Well, it didn’t really bother me, until the day we stumbled upon a couple of videos on one of the few websites – and this one is gone by now - all bdsm’ers favor (99% of the bdsm websites are just bullshit).

We couldn’t believe our eyes! Two different bondage devices designed to roast safely the whole body of a person, at little risk, if at no pain. So it was doable!  More, we were personally (althought distantly) in touch with one of the models, a bdsm practitioner in her  privacy. We knew her as a very responsible woman. She kindly confirmed us that she didn’t jeopardize her health at any moment during the shootings. She added that it was the kind of complex games all experimented bdsm’ers like us know well: it has to be complex, otherwise it wouldn’t be safe.

As we didn’t know the technical specifications of the depicted devices, we took them as a basis but we used mainly our professional skills (health for me, engineering for my man) to draw our own plans for our future roasting equipment. It took us months because we studied very carefully two vital aspects. 

First point: being perfectly harmless on the medical point of view. No burns, no lesions, no respiratory problems, and no hyperthermia. Not to mention the absence of danger for the mucous membranes, the vascular system, and the joints. I give you only the short list.

Second point: a functional and well-designed device. But it also got to be perfectly safe, easily controllable, and not too much uncomfortable because the cooking could last for 15/20 minutes.  And –cherry on the cake– with a “painless roasting option” on the piglet request! I will always remember the expression of my husband when I asked him if it was possible to add the “cooking on low heat” factor to a thermodynamic equation! J By the way, doing the math fasten the empiric tests we had to run afterward.  

Add to these two vital aspects the fact that the cooking must provide a strong sexual arousal to the prey and that it has to look like a realistic mock cannibal roasting, you will have a good idea of the task. But you know what? It was a quest by itself, and a very exciting one!

Eventually, we built our roasting equipment in our second home’s garage, we already converted it into a private “dungeon” many years before. Was it costly to plunder the local do-it-yourself store? A little more than  850 $.  Hopefully, my hubby is a good handyman, and I am not a dumbass myself with a welder. It took us four week-ends to achieve the whole stuff. We tested it. Then we tested it again. Safety is paramount. Always.

And the Great Day came… I was the first to be tied up to the roasting device, after being properly prepared for cooking. If our simple food games were great, and our former roasting games even greater, that day, I discovered the pure magic of a sophisticated and more realistic safe real sex game associated with fake cannibalism. From now on, we are in turn the meal then the cook. Neither my man nor me we could describe our feelings during such games, it is beyond words. A pair of old friends, our usual bdsm partners, began to share our passion for equilibrated diets J one year ago. Like us, neither of them would be able to find the words.

If you think of reality as a cloudy sky compared to the bright sunshine of your dreams, you are wrong. Reality can be as beautiful as starry skies, just because love and safe sex are.
Making a kinky fantasy come true has to be considered as a way to bring love and pleasure to your lover, or not at all. I am sure you got me on that point. But always  keep in mind that you ought to go further by easy stages. It took us a couple of years. Lovers are never hasty. Was it worth it? Definitely yes.


Next time: fake cannibalistic sex games, is roleplaying a necessity? 


Take care and play safe;                                Jadoo



JADOO’S CORNER (3) :  ROLEPLAYING, A NECESSITY?






Many couples are enthusiastic about sex roleplaying. Recently, somebody asked me if, on one hand, the harmless fake cannibalistic sex games we use to practice my husband and I, and roleplaying on the other hand, could be dissociated. Good question!
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I am pretty sure that most of Maria’s blog readers have high regards for sex roleplaying. They take rank among the “sex aristocracy”, because I don’t think that a shabby street punk drooling over the first big breasted ho’s he meets could have enough creativity to conceive any scenario involving something else than his little penis.

Is roleplaying a boy thing or a chick thing? In matter of sex I mean. Concerning the sex & bdsm quartet we formed with a pair of friends, Antelope is a great fan of roleplaying scenario, I like them too, and our husbands gladly accept to be shanghaied in our feminine Royal Sexpeare Company J

Why do I like roleplaying? Because it’s a funny method to add zest to classic manners to make love. For example, just after I met my husband seventeen years ago, I developed a passion for the “exhibitionist hitchhiker” scenario. Nothing exceptional: it involves a desert road in some God’s forsaken areas, a naked hitchhiker (me) and a luscious car driver (my hubby). There’s also the group version:  two naturist women (Antelope and me) and two guys in a car (our husbands). You got the point? Classic sex packed in a kinky box.

Anyway, we don’t spice all the phases of our fake cannibalistic sex games with roleplaying. For two reasons. First point, whether you make these games in a bdsm-style way, or not, cooking harmlessly your partner nonetheless implies a constant exchange of information between the submissive and the dominant. When the bottom is sending signals, the top ought to copy that loud and clear. During the most intense steps of the cooking game, playing an act could blur the “broadcast” and things would be no longer safe. 

Second point: mock cannibalistic sex games are already perfect as they are. You got the most delicious cake on the dinner table. Upgrading the game with a big part of roleplaying during its climax (i.e. the cooking of your prey) means you gonna replace the cherry on the cake by a watermelon. Your squashed cake is now baby food! 

I think it’s judicious to insist on the role playing stages before the hottest stage. As a chef, when you reach the final steps of a fake cannibalistic sensual experience, you have to focus on what you’re doing, and not on your role. For a piggy it’s even worse, at some point your only concern is to moan, cum, squeal, and doing it again, that’s all.

Even if I am expressing reservations about playing an act during the spiciest moments of the game, I otherwise warmly recommend role play before its apex, it really adds pepper to salt.

Roleplaying has another function. If you didn’t already go further than soft food games, it’s a perfect way to enhance them and to suggest your lover that you could evolve toward more complex fake cannibalistic stuff.  The Chantilly on the pussy/cock thing is a pleasant but very soft food game. I call that the cherry with no cake at all. I think that your life partner will cheerfully agree to make the things a little bit funnier and in such a case, roleplaying will become the (little) cake under the cherry! 

Nonetheless, your sexuality has to be safe, harmless, and has to obey to the “three m rule”: mutual consent, mutual desire and mutual pleasure. And do not tell me you understood that the fifty first times. What does “harmless and safe” means? Not to hurt your lover? Is it that simplistic? No, it means you must never harm this person’s body and her psyche.

A woman knows how to suggest something to her lover. For most boys it’s not that simple. Either they are shy, or they are a little bit clumsy. A loving husband can badly hurt her wife’s feeling without meaning it. You dudes, be very careful when you suggest a roleplaying theme to your wife.  She will never discus it, she will be immediately pleased, or on the contrary extremely sad because she will feels you’re trying to impose her something she don’t like. 

You really love your spouse, you know her mind, her hearth, and her guts, so think about it before opening your mouth, and rely on your instinct. Of course, either you got it, either you don’t… Be quiet, people who live together in a harmonious way generally have a very reliable instinct. She will happily accept to listen to your suggestion, most of the time.

Next, you have to determine as a couple the boundaries of the universe you have created. No, you don’t need to pee on the streetlights in order to mark your territory! J I give you an example. If your intention is to make mock cannibalistic sex games for real, you have to declare that fake snuff will be offside. Even if somebody’s dreams are none of my business, fake snuff is definitely not a woman’s thing, you have to accept that.

Pretending to be a “cannibal” is tricky. Do it the tongue in the cheek way or not at all. You know nothing about the real cannibal individuals or tribes. Neither do I, I am not an anthropologist, I never studied the Atapuerca hominids or the Caribe tribes. As for their modern relatives, freaks like Dahmer or Meiwes don’t interest me as long as they are locked up for life in a penitentiary. 

Yet, you can perfectly imitate the fictional cannibal people depicted in the artworks we all love so much! Look at Maria’s comics on her blog: those imaginary cannibal guys are happy fellows, with a silly sense of humor. They show a huge interest for sex, practical jokes, and equilibrated diets J Good folks indeed!

Now, admit that –for example– you’ve explained to your girlfriend that you will be a so-called cannibal and that she will be your prey. You will quickly find out that she have no idea about what are “cannibals” and their “victims”. You have to define their characteristics: who are they? Why are they here? What do they want? Do they have any specific purpose? How do they interact with other people?

Take that as a long chat between lovers, one of you telling the other about a funny story. Ask her what she is thinking about that.  You are not giving her orders, and if she proposes that the characteristics of the cannibals or the preys should be different, accept her request. Your universe must have a dad and a mom, ok?

Be careful: if a woman is immediately jumping to the real-world considerations, the safety, and so on, without giving a shit to the logic that is supposed to rule your universe, I can tell you that she doesn’t like it. You missed your shot, don’t argue or discuss, respect her freedom!

Besides, victory won’t be at hand immediately, even when she will be saying “oh my God, it’s really exciting and cool, but concretely, how shall we do that exactly?”. You still got to connect the dots. For example, tell her: “the cannibal prepares his prey, I will spread not-too-hot melted butter on your tits”. You must stress that it’s a sex game, explain her how you will make her cum! And once again, be open to all modifications she could submit. If she can’t relate the fictional character she will personify to the wonderful sex machine she actually is, she will be probably chuckling every thirty seconds during the game.

It’s debatable whether a complete scenario will help or not. I don’t think so. Reading her a short synopsis will make her understand how the things will take place, but if she has to assimilate a ten pages or so speech, she will run away. She wants to have fun remember?

Yet, even she’s pleased with your smutty role play, don’t ever think that your wife will accept to be part of it regardless of its practical and technical aspects. Now you have to take the checklist out of your pocket. Where and when? Do we need some accessories? Do we have to pay for something? Is it safe? Is it harmless? Is there a risk to end up at the local police station?  You better be very persuasive! She’s asking a question? Bang, the answer comes  spontaneously and without any hesitation.  

Ok Romeo, now I will assume that your roleplaying scenario came true as a wonderful game, that Juliette ended up in your arms, panting, crying softly, and so happy because she loves you and you love her, because she have discovered a delightful and funny way to make love. What are you doing now? You light the winner’s fag?

No, you have to applause her, to tell her how great she was, to ask her if she loved all parts of the game, or not. Would she like to change something next time? What about switching the roles? And so on. Another quiet chat between a pair of exhausted lovers…   

I would add something about a specific point. Many people don’t have the opportunity to find a partner anxious to share their desires when they are relative to fake cannibalistic sex games. A good friend of mine told me that some of them compensate this “sexual blind spot” with solo roleplaying sex games. Of course, I’ve got more questions than answers, considering the fact that I have had the opportunity to make my desires come true, thank to my husband!

Nonetheless, on my point of view, the cathartic effect of such solo games is helpful. The paradox of playing a role for oneself and not somebody else is probably counterbalanced by an intimate comprehension of the imaginary characters whose interactions will spice their creator’s masturbations. On one hand, no problem with the cast, no misunderstanding, everybody know his lines! On the other hand, the lack of a human echoes to your thoughts, your words, your physical actions and reactions, should be somewhat destabilizing.

I am definitely not an expert in such matters, but rather than an ersatz, I would refer at solo as out of the ordinary versions of classic roleplaying sex games. The usual version implies that you will mostly react to somebody, more than act with somebody. It’s the very definition of sex! I suppose that in the solo version, people have to act with imaginary actors first, in order to react to auto generated stimuli which will in turn trigger a real sexual arousal. Am I wrong? If there are solo experts among you people, please tell me. 


Next time: how does it feel? Welcome into the real world.  

Carpe diem, but play safe!                                          JADOO



JADOO’S CORNER (4) : PIGGY PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS J


Maria and I often discussed about the difference between people who just fantasize about cannibalism and those who practice it for real as a harmless sex game. I will not repeat myself: it’s safe, painful or painless, as you like it, in fact it’s just a kinky way to have sex and you will never find even the slightest shadow of darkness in our erotic games.



As well as in Maria’s personal desires! Snuff and gore are never part of women’s longings.
There’s a huge difference between the things she dreams to make come true, and the convenient way she have to finish her fictional stories: their gory end is nothing else than the “That’s all folks” of the old Warner’s cartoons.  However, Maria’s personal desires are beautiful, just like her, all of them, including those relatives to fake cannibalism.

The idea eventually came to us that it could be interesting to convert some scenario she had in mind into a synopsis I would try to make for real. Not alone of course, but with my husband and a pair of sex-friends of us, “Antelope” and Tom. We form a bdsm quartet with them since 2001, and they share our piggy/cook games for two years.  

My man and I, we are like all couples about deciding of what kind of uncommon sex games we will put in practice. We favor our own ideas, and anything our friends could suggest when we have sex with them. Yet, bringing to life a synopsis conceived by Maria who lives in Italy, while we all live in France, was something new for us.

Apparently, it was quite simple: Maria aka Anna, is captured, “raped”, oiled and stuffed, tied up on a spit, roasted, and once well-done, eaten, meaning wildly licked. Too schematic? A complete scenario would require professional actors that we are not. Anyway, would it change something if we were porn-stars? Most porn performers are just anxious to show their cunt/cock for a price. Few of them are really doing the job they are paid for: acting.

We divided the synopsis in several steps, and each step led to two questions.  Technically (so to speak) is it something we have already done? And what were the hidden or shown desires of Maria when she wrote the synopsis?

Studying the practical feasibility could seem an easy task… Alas, nothing is more dangerous than a game that looks like one of those you’ve practiced before. Mock cannibal sex takes his roots in bondage and/or sado-masochism. Bdsm is just a way to make love, to have great fun, but with an underlying lesson: approximations and improvisations haven’t their place in a dungeon or around the “roasting pit”.

You must check cautiously your equipment and the devices you will need during the game. You also have to plan what events will take place. If you are making a mistake, once the session begins, you can’t take it back. So we run our check list, and we plan the game: capturing me, carrying me on a pole after the capture, preparing me for the meal, tying me to our roasting device, cooking me, ok, it was things we perfectly mastered.

Let’s the game begins! A (fake) capture and a (fake) rape? For the first step, piece of cake! Careful exhibitionism doesn’t bother me, so I walked nude in the forest behind our farm, very excited, then my husband and Tom captured me. They tried not to laugh too much, thank you guys! Although a 110 lbs. lady is never a burden, they did not carry me to our dungeon tied to a pole all the way long, the ground was too rocky for that. Safety first, it is our mom and dad cannibalistic motto. Yet, they transported me tied to our bamboo pole on the last fifty yards. By the way, never use wood for bondage gears! Use bamboo instead, it’s solid and flexible, any pair who got a private dungeon will confirm.

The (fake) rape then. Well, my man and Tom are definitely not the rapist type. They are far too respectful of women for that. Alain is even unable to feign a rape on my person. However, he appreciates to fuck me brutally if I ask so, just because he knows I love that.

Actually it was easier to begin the game softly. Once again, fake cannibalism is above all a safe way to make love. A lot of smiles, a lot of kisses, plenty of sweet caresses, the words of my man, and Thomas quips. Was I betraying Maria’s fake rape dreams? I don’t think so, she will understand that I needed a foreplay stage. Anyway, we went back to our synopsis rather quickly. What has started as some classic cool sex game with my two tamed wolves evolved when they fucked me harder and eventually pitilessly.

This ended with me enjoying mild punishments. I got my tits and my ass whipped, and the flexibility of my pussy was tested with a big dildo, before being sent to contemplate my piglet’s final fate in our dungeon’s cage. Did I love the whole “harsh sex and punishments” thing? Sure I did. And the best part of it was the cage. Hearing the boys talking of my “scrumptious body” drove me crazy, as well at looking at the preparations of the dinner.

Maria’s recipe wasn’t specific except for the stuffing. So my husband chose the perfection of simplicity: basting me with olive oil, and some herbs on my tits and my pussy. If your skin is coated with oiled, it’s not only to make your body more tasty. It will also act as a cutaneous screen, lubricate your vagina and anus, and… arouses you pretty much! And what about the stuffing? Well, Maria suggested I could be stuffed with a little eggplant in my pussy, and so did the cook! The size is impressive, yet, I am fond of vaginal and anal dilatations and my husband have a knack to do it to me very softly.

Among the tenths of bondage positions and techniques, only a couple of them are suitable for tying up the piglet on our roasting device. The one that Maria seemed to have in mind was actually too risky (sometimes face down, while the ribcage is compressed) so we modified it. Her mistake was understandable. When we began to meddle with sado-masochism in 1998, we discovered that it takes months or even years to learn how to bind a submissive like a sausage without sending her/him to the emergency ward.
  
Let the safe roasting begin! As a piggy I was the center of attentions, for my own good. Not only was I basted, seasoned again, poked with a fork, and so on. But I was also cuddled, venerated as a goddess, treated as grade A meat by my man and Tom, the other cook. As usual I was kept under constant watch, no bruises, no harm, no respiratory problems, rehydration at will. Safety is vital. Thus you can focus on your growing pleasure without any worry: the chef is making you love, even if the game isn’t described in the Kama Sutra.  

Is it dangerous? No, because it has been essential for us, since the beginning in 2010, to keep this delight safe and harmless. Our home made devices and gears have been designed for this purpose. That’s why it took us six months to build them. This is our Golden Rule: safe, harmless, and delightful at the utmost.   

Arousal comes by the slow roasting you endure: even if the “spit” is periodically turned, the infrared heathers warm your body - and especially the tender parts of it - a lot! You’re really roasted… but at no risk, because you cheat, there’s a trick! The way we designed our roasting device prevents it to function more than 20 minutes. It could be less of course. Now, pyro-kinetic effects (the “dangerous things”) would take at least 40 minutes to occur considering the thermodynamic adjustments we have chosen once for all.   

It’s a so strange and wonderful feeling, your whole body relax, except for your throbbing clit, you feel comfy and yet the restraints compress deliciously your tits.  From time to time a fork puncture softly your sex and you beg for more, an oiled brush tickles your fully swollen up clit or your nipples and you pray it will stop on it.

I perfectly knew that it was exactly what Maria had in her mind:  taking physically a delight in being cooked. At this point, Maria described the end of the roasting as painful. But whose idea was it? Maria’s one, or Anna’s (the artist) one? Anyway, could the concrete game be really painful, I mean not beyond the limits of an experienced submissive like me?  No, because the device automatically turns off after twenty minutes, and the posts of the “spit” cannot be lowered. We designed it harmless, and so is it… 

This game is almost painless, or can bring – and only if the piggy wants so - a moderate pain at the very most. We preferred that last option, hey honey, cook me well done! Actually, I favor that half of the time. The roasting last for twenty minutes instead of fifteen. The point is, for me, to increase the ecstatic pleasure of a “classic” sexual arousal with a catalyst: a controlled pain.

 Of course, I am not a pain-addict: during bdsm session, it’s great, otherwise, pinch my nipple and I punch your nose! For some submissive girls (not all of them) masochism is as well mental as physical. Endorphins are opioid peptides, produced during orgasm, and… pain! You pay for one drink and you got two! If I am sexually aroused, a controlled pain increases the strength of the ensuing orgasms, whatever the way my lover will chose to make me come. 

When the cooking is done, what’s next? Maybe the few girls among you readers will understand me… I got my pussy and my clitoris wildly and yet so softly “eaten” by my hubby, the best lover I have ever had. Tom, another king of oral sex, devoured my tits, showing that controlled hunger that so few male lovers can master. Add the extreme physical arousal caused by the preparation, the roasting, and the mild pain at the end of it. Take in consideration the wonderful psychological excitement induced by a fake cannibal sex game. Total. Could you describe an infinite spasm with words? Me, I can’t.

I know that Maria’s scenario would have required better performers than we are. We are good, but we are not that good. Safe sex brings its own restrictions, hopefully. Why “hopefully”? Because if everything was possible, our everlasting quest for new games would come to an end. It’s not only about getting better orgasms. Going higher and further in a harmless way is a challenge and pushing the limits is part of the pleasure.

Next time: honey, put away the vinegar please… some tips to the newbies

Enjoy life but play safe;                  Jadoo



JADOO’S CORNER ( 5 ) : THE ETHIC OF KINKY SEX

Hello dear readers. Got a reaction to one of my articles, telling me “ok, it’s doable, but only within couples who shares an equal passion for sex”. Actually, this guy is right on one point: a perfect sexual harmony between my husband and I was a prerequisite for trying out kinky harmless sex games associated with fake cannibalism.

But if you think that harmony comes from a coincidence, you are incredibly wrong. Sexual harmony is an everlasting garden tended by two lovers: nothing will blossom without constant cares, you grown the roses of love and sex yesterday, you have to grow them today, and you will have to grow them tomorrow. It’s an endless task, and a beautiful one.

Yes, tending carefully your garden is worth of it. Because it’s there that, like a pair of artists adding new colors on their palette, you will discover uncommon sexualities for your common pleasure. At least, you will try to do so. Yet, only some of you will succeed. Why? Because many couples wander more than they walk. You need a star to guide you on the way. This star has a name: the ethic of kinky sex. And nothing is more relative to kinky sex than mock cannibalistic sex games!

Ethic and bizarre ways to have fun? Don’t giggle, and answer my question: why do you make love? Just to squirt your juice and say goodbye thereafter? Just to get laid with a hot stud and dump him the next morning? Or, as two humans in love, to give and take affection, and orgasms, to your lover? If you read me, I know you’re a lover, and not just a rat looking for another desperate copulation. So, what’s the ethic of kinky sex? It’s based on Five Commandments.

Ye First Commandment  is so simple: “responsible adults only”. So simple, and generally so poorly understood. Your partner is over 18/21.  Yet, does it mean that she/he is psychologically mature enough  to consent to try a new sex game as a free-willing partner, and not as your puppet? Many men are childish, and some women are so easily influenced in matter of sex that they act like kids. The age on your ID is one thing, but psychological adulthood is another thing. 

Even if your partner if a wise person, sometimes his judgment will be impaired under specific circumstances. For example, if your wife is worried about her job, you have to consider that she isn’t at her best. Her judgment is probably impaired at the moment. Even the bright side of life is treacherous: a great party, your hubby is fully happy? The problem is that during a party men are prone to answer “yes” first, and think later! Not to mention the fact that a drunken boyfriend will be very surprised to wake up with soft mustard on his tied cock the next morning. J

Weird envies are to be suggested in quiet and romantic moments, there’s a time to expose them, and a time to keep quiet about them. 

Second Commandment: a mutual desire. You got a weird fantasy for a long time, you thought a lot about making it for real, you’re sure you can do that in a safe and pleasurable way for both you and your husband. Now you’re supposed to convince him that this game will bring something valuable to his actual sexual life.
Concerning your suggestion, you ought to arouse his desires. You’re not selling lousy carpets in a souk somewhere in Morocco, so be charming, tempt him and tease him, make yourself clear and specific, eroticism and romanticism are the two wings of love.

What if you fail? It’s not your “fault” neither his. Sometimes, uptight people will never evolve, due to stupid preventions about kinky sex, or extreme shyness, or psychological jamming and complexes induced by an idiotic education. Many of them will get over these obstacles, I you help them, if you love them, if you take the time it will take. Others won’t, they tried, they failed, love them as they are, no offence given, none taken.

I will always remember the day, in 1997, I suggested my husband we could cautiously try bdsm in a specialized club. His reaction was so enthusiastic that I had to calm him down. Of course, it was a desire he already got!  Pour a shared envy on a strong sexual harmony, ka-booooom, you got a firework!

I also remember his reaction when, two or three years later, I made him part of my desires relative to careful exhibitionism in some desert areas. He was as excited as intrigued, really anxious to make for real this new game, but uncertain about what he will find in the Happy Meal box. I wasn’t disappointed, but on the contrary extremely pleased by his reaction, he was a grown man, not a child, when you discover a desert island, you’re excited and cautious. 

These two kinds of reactions are of equal values. Sexual harmony between life partners is the soil, sometimes the flower is already growing in your partner’s mind, and sometimes you got to plant the seed by yourself. From my own experience, no point asking if a safe but uncommon way to make love will be a sublime delight or a failure. I got used to answer to myself this way: I love my man and I trust him, so, I don’t know, but our bodies will know.  

Third Commandment: a mutual consent. You’re not a sexual assaulter. Consent and desire are not synonymous. Your beloved spouse could well have a strong desire to experiment with kinky sexual practice you suggested and do not give you her/his consent to make it become true here and now!  I know that we women we really piss our husbands off when we say “oh yesss, I want it sooo badly, but not now”.  Cut the classic “you don’t got the guts” macho crap ok? It’s not about fear. Neither does it mean that on second though your wife changed her mind.

She wasn’t going to take you to the cleaners the day she accepted to try. The probable explanation is that you weren’t specific enough when you described her how the game will take place, why it will be harmless, and which concrete sexual practices it will imply. She’d like to know more, about safety, about the inherent mechanic of the game, it’s her right.

I am positive about that: don’t put the blame on her if shared unconventional sexual desire will be left unachieved because she finally refuses to make the thing come true. Nine times out of ten, it’s due to vagueness. A good advice: It’s not a fucking military briefing! Make yourself clear the way a Chippendale undress himself: slowly, with the floodlights pointed on the most interesting zones J, and nothing left hidden. You ought to be methodical, specific, and tempting.       

Fourth Commandment: safety is paramount. Curiously, everybody agree to the fact that a sex game has to be harmless, yet, many pairs don’t understand anything about the concept of global safety.
 Having sex always induces three kind of potential risks: jeopardizing your health, your psyche, your social life. Don’t end up at the emergency ward or in prison, or babbling rubbishes at a 300 $ per hour therapist. You really got that? Great, you’re as ready as ever for delicious and weird sex games!

You’re not sure? Look, it just proves you’re a responsible adult. You’re self-confident but you don’t let your enthusiasm clouds your judgment, and your partner will appreciate that. On the contrary, being a proud asshole will make all adult women and most adult men alike, very suspicious about your suggestions. A major advantage of fake cannibalistic sex games is that they are complex. Complexity always leads to increase awareness. You people, you easily understand that you must be very careful, but careful about what exactly?

Safety becomes global when you correctly discern the hazards, as well as ways to cope with them. The big problem is that the person who suggests a safe and bizarre way to have sex often didn’t assess the risks to their true value. This is mostly true regarding the psychological exposures which are frequently undervalued, because –for example- the cook is so focused on the physical safety of his prey that he/she forgets everything else.

Imagine you just proposed your hubby to become a long pig. He is enthusiastic, or at least intrigued and eager to try out this new kinky sex game. Excellent! Do you see the trap? Well, why is he enthusiastic? He never tried before, how could he knows that you’ll make him cum so hard that he will splatter the ceiling with his sperm? He is excited because he’s projecting his own interpretation of the game you proposed on the screen of his imagination. You have to comply with the psychological content he is anticipating! No other option!

If you take on the dominant role, you ought to make yours his psychological desires, in the same way that he accepted before to undergo physically what you planned for him. Read the “Venus in furs’ (Sacher-Masoch), until you understand that when two peoples are in love for each other, the top is actually the submissive, and the bottom the dominant…  

The fifth Commandment is easy to write, more difficult to apply. Mutual pleasure.  I know, sometimes you will gladly agree to make your wife cum and take only a mental pleasure doing so. Or she will accept to make one of your benign fantasy become real, for your satisfaction, and not her own delight. This is the walk of life, I love you, you love me, your orgasm, my orgasm, and ooops, no, it’s not my turn today, but we’ll do it better next time! Making love isn’t a contest, you got to do your best to make cum your lover, knowing that seldom you will succeed, and he/she won’t!  

This can work for classic sex. But complex ways to make love require a very specific ingredient to fulfill your sensual desires: the full commitment of both the woman and the man. You have to give all you got, else it won’t work. The highest the stake, the highest the reward, for the both of you, not tomorrow, not a simple psychological satisfaction, but an apotheosis of tremendous orgasms, today!

Bdsm, mock cannibalistic sex games, bizarre sexualities, dirty and sublime practices, when you step to the line, you’re not Ms. & Mr. Jones taking the subway, you’re adventurers, you are a pair of Columbus sailing to America! Well, if Mr. Columbus lands on some paradisiac beach in the Caribbean while Ms. Columbus lands in poison ivy bushes somewhere in Kamchatka, I am afraid that Mr. Columbus will make the next trip alone!

If your point is to suggest your wife a sexual experience based on safe mock cannibalism, your first and main concern should be the way you will make her enjoy it. You’re sure that the game itself will bring her an intense sexual pleasure, you can open your mouth. Else, forget it.

You can’t play your little tricks and draw straws, hoping that she won’t get the shortest one. Anyway, at the very moment a woman discovers that a sensual innovation is a pure enchantment, she will go as far as it takes –and we can go far in that direction- to make your common desires become a wonderful reality. But if this new erotic rituals are physically disappointing, even if she’s more likely to say nothing because she loves you, she won’t forget, and she won’t do it again.

Five Commandments, this is the ethic of kinky sex. With a moral: you have to respect the ethic, every day, every time, even if sex is freedom, never break the five rules. The counterpart of freedom is always responsibility. Playing safe is never a restraint, it’s a choice, a choice any responsible person in love will always do.


Next time: honey, put away the vinegar please… some tips to the newbies

As always: take care and play safe;               JADOO



JADOO’S CORNER ( 6 ) : A GOOD DIET IS A SAFE DIET


I am sure that some of you have already experienced soft food sex games.  Spreading cold and usually sugared food on the body of your lover is a nice way to have fun, but somewhat too “un-cannibalistic” to really satisfy your hunger. On my opinion, a fake and harmless cannibalistic sensual experience implies at least putting warm food on the body of your companion. Sometimes you will improve the fun by inserting victuals in her vagina or her/his anus. Not only is this closer from everyday cooking, but this introduces the concepts of oiling, stuffing, and seasoning, that we all cherish so much.

Obviously this way to proceed is funnier and will also make your orgasms more potent.  Yet, the complexity of the game has to increase along with the safety. You must balance the “why”, your sexual desires as a pair, with the “how”, the techniques that will allow you to play safe.

Today, I will only discuss of female “preys”. As a woman I felt very embarrassed to talk about males as meals without a man as co-author. And after a little chat with him, my favorite bipedal sausage got a point: men deserve a full article of their own.

Anyway, you ought to understand that when I am talking about tough food games, essentially I am talking about love and sex. Don’t think I got all the answers, nobody has them. As a couple you got your own questions and answers. I wrote this article only to give you some clues, to urge you to play safe, and to show you that the only way to avoid committing mistakes is to use your common sense. Ok? Let’s go!

One of the best moments of the game is its very beginning:  a lot of cuddling, many words of love, cool reciprocal masturbations, and soft oral sex. That foreplay is necessary; remember that fake cannibalism is just a kinky way to make love. Moreover, the natural lubrication of the vagina of your beloved “victim” will be boosted.

Then, install your scrumptious future meal comfortably, and once again, talk to her, tell her she is beautiful and yummy. Overwhelm your Goddess with your love, her lust will wax and her apprehension will wane. Caress her, when she got really excited, perfectly relaxed, you can start the game, but not before.

At this point, a drastic change of the psychological ambiance is an obligation. The most difficult part of your job is to assume a double personality: you’re her lover as well as you’re a cook. It’s not easy to deal with this Janus thing. When we play such games, what do I ask to my husband? To show me with his words that he is a dominant male, a pitiless cook, and that I am just a submissive female, a prey. But I am also asking him to show me with his eyes that he’s my hun’ bun’, that he loves me, that his only desire is to make me touch the moon.   

Well, you just “forced” your future meal to write by herself “piglet’s tits” on the menu, what’s next? You have to enhance the safety of the game by oiling those yummy breasts. The purpose of oiling/basting is not only culinary. Covering the parts you will season with a thick layer of olive oil will act as a protective coat, especially of the fragile mucous membranes. And if your intentions are to stuff your wife’s orifices afterward, don’t be mean! I insist: without a conscientious oiling, a sex game relative to mock cannibalism cannot be safe!

After the oiling, hygiene and asepsis become paramount. Keep your hands as clean as possible. Cleanse and disinfect all the utensils you will use. If some raw vegetables are part of your recipe, wash them, peel them carefully of all asperities until they are smooth to the touch, then wash them again and put them to warmth into hot (but not boiling) water.
 
All responsible people know that during such sex games, improvisation is not an option. No matter the recipe you will try today, if you haven’t tested it a few days ago, you’re a nut. Actually, any idea you have is suspect until proven harmless. And your beloved prey is not here to test your recipes, she is here to enjoy them.

A few days before the game, run your tests alone in the kitchen, be an impartial judge of your future recipe. Obviously, all the foods aren’t suit for mock cannibalistic sex games. Taste the food you will use: acid or astringents savors, grainy or rough substances, are prohibited. Throw away hot or acids condiments like strong mustard, Tabasco, hot pepper, lemon juice, vinegar, strong alcohols and so on. Your tongue is the best probe you will never have: the flavor of the cooked food is not spicy, neither acid, it’s ok, else, it’s just cattle’s fodder!   

This rehearsal doesn’t exempt you from tasting the food again the day you will accommodate your girlfriend.  But it will help you to focus on another concern, the temperature of the food.  Burns are not a pleasant thing to deal with. Anyway, you don’t have to limit yourself to ice creams. The safety rules are simple, be sure you got them perfectly.

Look, the skin can sustain a 50°C temperature at no harm in matter of burns, but will suffer desiccation after 30 minutes or so. On the opposite, mucous membranes can harmlessly sustain a temperature a little bit more elevated than the normal body temperature (let’s say 40°C) and no more. Cutaneous desiccation will occur in  approximately 20 minutes. The point is that your tongue is a very subjective thermometer. It’s quite safer to buy a food thermometer. Nonetheless, always test carefully the temperature of the stuffing on your wrist, or your thighs, and why not your penis, in front of her eyes, she will feel reassured.  

Don’t splash the food on the skin of your prey! Toast it delicately on her belly first, to let her understand that it’s harmless, lick it, kiss her, and then only the seasoning may begin. Yet, even if your meal whispers a “so goooood” when you toast the food upon her, safety commands you to limit the duration of your meal to 30 minutes. The food will begin to cold down the moment you will put it on the body of the piggy, but virtually all edible substances contains natural oxidants, tannins, or desiccants. Hopefully, the oiling will prevent at some point the skin or mucous membranes to dry out, so you’re good for half an hour.

Now, a few gastronomical and medical considerations. The breasts, the buttocks, and the vulva, are tender parts. Their skin is soft, thin, and fragile, with a high concentration of sensory cells. We women are sometimes a little bit reluctant to offer our pussies to rough if painless treatments at first, so it is a good idea to eat your lover’s tender parts first, then to finish your meal by her cunt. Don’t forget that you’re making love, sucking and devouring her nipples will arouse her, ok, but stroking softly her clit at the same time will drive her crazy.

Once again, the food you will put on your lover’s body takes is taste mostly from the condiments you used to cook it. You can use salt, pepper, soft mustard, herbs, garlic, onions, to season the tits, the butts, and the vulva, at no pain and little effect for the prey, apart for a slight but exciting vasodilatation. Beverages? Good wines are ok. 

The clitoris is an erectile organ, with two corpus cavernosa and their extension, the glans, which has in the average 8.000 sensory nerve endings. The glans of a penis is far less sensitive… Girls have to pay the price for such a wonder: even if our sugar almond is protected by a hood, its mucous membranes are extremely fragile.

Seasoning a clitoris is problematic. Salt, pepper, soft mustard, onions, many condiments in fact, will act as a strong desiccant on our little and hard delicacies. I don’t say that you can’t use them, or that the food you will spread on the clitoris has to be insipid. It means that you must season the food itself with a very light hand. What about wine?  The tannin it contains could badly damage the mucous membranes. I suggest you to add the wine just before “eating” your prey. Of course, other alcohols, or gaseous drinks, are forbidden. 

The vagina is an elastic muscular canal with layers of soft tissue on its surface, the mucosa. . Despite the protection of the minor labia (the inner lips), despite the natural lubricant and disinfectant effect of our “female juices”, the mucous membranes of the vagina are fragile, as well as the cervix and the uterus.

Stuffing a vagina with non-solid food is something many dominant lovers favors greatly. Obviously, only experienced piglets will share this passion!  The problem for a girl isn’t the penetration, it’s the feeling of a doughy or semi-liquid substance in her pussy.

Honestly, the easiest option is the female condom.  It supposes you like to eat latex. There are a couple of more tasty tricks I know, involving half-boiled scabbard leaves, but this is my personal secret! Anyway, here’s a good compromise: open the labia majora (the outer lips) and put one or two spoonful of warm food on the clitoris and the closed labia minora rather than inserting the food in the vagina.

Your common sense will usually suffice to keep the game harmless if you respect at all coast the safety rules of the “clitoris” paragraph in matter of seasoning. But there’s a specific contingency to prevent. You have to take care of your lover’s vagina after eating it: a conscientious vaginal shower will cleanse her cunt from all little bits and pieces of food.

Inserting a banana, a cucumber, or a sausage, in your lover’s cunt seems rather impressive but paradoxically, a woman will more easily accept a stuffing with solid victuals rather than a stuffing with non-solid food.  Of course I will not teach you how to fuck somebody with a phallic object. Yet, try to remember that a cucumber isn’t a ram, neither the cervix is a target. And size does matter. If Ms. Jones can take at ease an eggplant in her pussy, Ms. Smith will accept only a carrot. Some will request a condom on the veggie, others won’t. You have the right to suggest, she has the right to decide. 

The anus has a relatively high concentration of nerve endings, and a shared wall with the vagina (or the prostate for men) that allows indirect stimulation of the G-spot or the clitoral corpus cavernosa. That was for the good news. The bad news is that, apart from inserting in your girlfriend’s ass a very clean veggie (a condom is recommended), after a proper and generous oiling, there are little possibilities to stuff an anus.

The high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the rectum’s function to absorb fluids, and the frequent (and normal) presence of anal micro-fissures, provide an easy entry for pathogens. Consequently, stuffing the little hole of your wife with food is prohibited. What about wine? You know, I am mad at the morons who ask porn actress to undergo an enema with Champagne in some stupid X-rated movies! Apart from sodium-phosphate or sodium-chloride solutions, or maybe 30% glycerin-sodium mixes, all liquids you can imagine are dangerous.

Once again, a compromise is to toast food around the sphincter, and not in it. Anilingus is not only a way to ease an anal penetration, it’s a pleasure by itself. Yet, stuffing the anus with smooth and disinfected veggies, remains the better option. And if I am not here to teach you how to bugger your girlfriend, I strongly suggest you to sodomize her very softly and cautiously. You don’t want to hurt her, believe me! Physical damages to the anus or the rectum can occasionally cause a fistula formation, rectal prolapse, permanent anal macro-fissures, which can be very difficult to treat. 

Building a bridge between the boundless real of your dreams and your actual sexual life isn’t a little affair. Some bridges can’t be built at all. Some others shouldn’t be built. Drawing the map of the real world’s possibilities is a difficult but not impossible task. Use the strongest paper: love. Use the best pen: your common sense. Use the best ink: your desire to make your partner cum.

Fake cannibalistic sex games are sophisticated, and delightful at the extreme. Yet, I won’t beat around the bush: you have to earn the opportunity to make them come true. The both of you, you ought to think carefully about it. Furthermore, you have to learn to discern the thin line between good and bad ideas.  

Obviously, the boundaries between safety and danger are sometimes fuzzy without basic medical knowledge. Be quiet, the ones who want to be taught always find a teacher. I’m positive about that: for twenty bucks you’ll find very good works dealing of sexology in simple words. Read them, and you’ll learn how you can do very naughty things in the safest conditions, for your common pleasure.   

Take care and play safe, see ya !                   Jadoo


JADOO’S CORNER ( 7 ) : DON’T SMOKE IT, A POT IS MADE FOR COOKING


 The desires are there, and you have the will to make them come true as a couple. Yet, how could you make it for real without a proper cooking device? I think that a majority of the few pairs eager to practice evolved mock cannibalistic sex games in a harmless way are stopped by technical considerations. But we did it, so you can do it!

Although it’s a long, difficult, and complicated task, it is do-able. Obviously, you cannot purchase safe and functional cooking equipment somewhere. So you have to build it, like a craftsman could build a cart in 1800: each piece was unique. There’s no “complete cannibal guide” you could read, my purpose is only to show you how we used our own cleverness and skills, to persuade you people that you and your spouse can do the same.

With a roasting device functioning since 2010 in our private dungeon, we could have stop there. We didn’t. Late in 2011, we begin to discuss, the four of us (my husband and I, Antelope and Tom, our sex-friends) of the possibility to build a “giant pot”. Actually, we women proposed, and my husband immediately pointed out that even if we had designed a roasting gear two years before, a cooking pot would be a completely different thing. 

It didn’t bother us: building your home-made cooking device is a challenge, an exciting quest by itself! Nevertheless, it’s not playtime, such a hard work is for serious and responsible people only, you will spend time, money, and misjudging the difficulties isn’t an option. The project implies three phases.  

First stage: we had to design our pot cooking device, to “think” it. It required a complete –but simple– engineering analysis of the task, during which we took into account safety considerations first, and then only the technical feasibility of our plans. The good thing with our bdsm quartet is that it’s a well balanced team. Our husbands are both engineers. Antelope is a teacher in biology, and I am a nurse.

Actually it was a two voices dialog: the “technical” section proposed something, the “medical” section then answered by “yes, provided that…” or “no because…”. In turn, the techs eventually validate or discard the suggestion. Then we go ahead with the next step.  Alain and Tom relied heavily on us for all health factors, they are too old to embrace a medical career, and we fully trusted their technical skills.

Who got the easiest part? Not the “meds”, the eventuality of an omission scared the shit out of us! The “techs”? They have to design a device to be manufactured using craftsman’s tools , not industrial ones. How can you manage the risk of committing a huge mistake? I give you a tip: if you cannot explain why you’re doing something that way, your idea probably sucks.   

Ok you guys, you’re not gonna get another lecture about the necessity of making mock cannibalistic sex games in a harmless way or not at all. Just keep in mind that safety comes first when you’ll be designing your own home-made roasting device or pot cooking gear. Always think “I would do (tech) = you can(not) do + you have to do (med) = we will do”. If you don’t know, ask somebody. If you don’t want to know, go back to kindergarten!

Second stage: once you got the blueprints on hand, you can launch the manufacturing. Talented handymen and handywomen, stand up! Hopefully, we could install the still to build pot into our private dungeon, in our second home. The choice of the basic element, the recipient, was difficult. A metallic barrel? Cheap, but God knows what kind of chemicals marinated into it! An ironworker could have done it for us, but we didn’t want to push our plastic to the limit. Besides, a barrel is a little bit un-cannibalistic!

We eventually opted for one of these enormous copper pots sold as decorative elements for gardens. The problem is that 90% of such pots are mass-produced  only for a decorative purpose, and can’t be used to cook something, the alloy they are made can’t sustain high temperatures and would shatter in five minutes if put on an open fire. The other 10% would have been ok but were incredibly expensive.

It’s the wacky nature of such search: you look for good quality stuff at an affordable price in a huge store: zilch. The morning after you go to an Antiques shop to purchase a trinket, and gotcha! A huge “cauldron”, stainless tin alloy, bulging, 130 centimeters height x 137 cm diameter, nearly cylindrical. I asked the merchant: he salvaged it 30 years ago from the junks stored by a tannery in a warehouse. Those pots were used to boil skins until the 60’s. After a hard bargain, we got it for 280 €, and we transported it to our second home.

If you think that scrubbing and cleaning a huge dirty pot is easy, well, be my guest, even with a Karcher it’s a disgusting job. Eventually we got a clean huge pot, good! The easiest part was done! The easiest part? Yes, definitely. Because the safety considerations supersede all other ones. What are the risks for a piglet put to cook nicely into a huge kettle?

The burns, due to hot water, or direct contact of any body part with the hot walls or rim of the cauldron, not to speak of the thermic source! Both the long pig and the chef are exposed. For the piggy alone, the extended exposure to heath itself, even if you can prevent any form of burns. The stiffness, cramps, joints or vascular constriction, due to the position she/he will have into the cauldron. The risk of slippery on a wet floor, or the risk of falling because in order to step into the pot, the prey have to climb on something first, and then climb down.

Preventing a fall or a slip of the piggy when she steps into the 130 centimeters high pot wasn’t a big deal: rather than using a stool we selected “non-skid rubber stairs” a medical gear designed to allows physically challenged people to use their bathtub with only a little help. Of course the prey has to be helped and hold firmly when she gets in or get out of  the cauldron, even if her hands are not always bound and her/his legs remain always free. 

Isolating the rim of the cauldron with an isothermal adhesive cladding was easy. But isolating the whole body of the prey from the metallic walls and bottom of the pot was a challenge! Antelope got a brilliant idea. We built a sort of cylindrical sieve, with isothermal semi-rigid (and extremely solid) ceramic strips. This structure (120 cm height x 120 cm diameter) is hung in the pot, fasten to its rim by very resistant ceramic hooks. We tested the sieve: 300 lbs. in it and not even torsion of the tubes or the hooks! Its bottom  lies on eight thick ceramic tiles used in aeronautical engines, which purpose are to isolate the sieve from the metallic bottom of the pot. Was the whole lot costly? Tom got it for 60 €, by a wholesaler.   

The prey doesn’t sit down in the pot, but in the sieve which will remain almost cold even after 30 minutes of cooking. It prevents all risks of burning. In a perfect world, the process should be adiabatic, meaning that the sieve exchanges no heat with its surroundings (the water, the wall of the pot, the piggy). Actually, the process is only isothermal: there are thermic exchanges, but they occur very slowly. A side effect is that the submissive can relax in the sieve, lean on its wall, and to a certain extent, get the stiffness out of her/his legs and arms.

Choosing the thermic source left us with no option other than gas burners. To be perfectly safe, the cooking of a prey should be –in a perfect world again– isentropic. For purpose of calculation my husband had to assume that the process would take place from initiation to completion without any change in the entropy of the system. Of course he known that we couldn’t obtain a complete isentropic flow, that is, no energy transformations occur due to friction or dissipative effects. But the process had to tend toward it.

This excludes bonfires, coal fires, and actually all open flames fires except gas burners. Another advantage is that you can connect the gas tank to a manometer you will adjust once for all to a given pressure, and connect the manometer itself to an industrial electronic thermometer hooked in the cauldron that will shut off the gas device at a given water temperature.  

Sure enough, we decided that the submissive shall not go in the pot before water temperature reach 25°C, and that the gas burners would automatically shut off when the temperature would be of 50°C. Actually, it’s not a coincidence if the temperature of a Japanese bath is also of 50°C: beyond that limit safety would be compromised. Accordingly, with our gas burners definitive adjustments, it takes twenty five  minutes to increase the water temperature from 25°C to 50°C. At this point the burners automatically shut off, but  the cooking phase last for five or ten more minutes. Then, the prey is kindly asked to get her/his ass out of the kettle so the cannibals can eat her/him. Why no more than 35 minutes in the pot?  

Because we know that a cooking phase longer than 30/35 minutes would become too strenuous for the long pig (note that regarding roasting games, 20 minutes is a maximum) since breathing in a hot and very moist environment is really tiring. The body can undergo a 50°C “bath” at very little pain and no risk if you’re healthy. But it’s a hard work for your lungs to function in a 35°C + 100% humidity air.

In a little less than one hour, you will dehydrate, the electrolyte balance will be disrupted, and hypothermia will become a real concern. A short cooking (30/35 minutes) gives you a good safety margin, if you cool frequently the head and the face of the prey with a fan, and if you provide her water to drink every five minutes. Hope that the piglet won’t pee in the pot. J 

Third stage: at that point we were looking forward for the first tests. A homemade device sometimes appears to be functional on a blueprint and reveals itself as a complete failure at the very moment you try it. Why? Nine times on ten, because you used shoddy materials, or just because your skills as a handyman/handywoman are insufficient. All engineers know that, and the one I married insisted to check, re-check, and test the gear before we tried it for the first time.  I suppose the Cannibal Gods were with us, all functioned as it was supposed to do!

Of course, the first time you use a home-made cooking or roasting device for real, you have to be extremely vigilant. Yet, you have to be extremely cautious each and every time you will use it… The person who is simmering into the kettle has to be kept under constant watch, and it’s the same for the cooking gear, the gas burners, and so on. Moreover, after the prey has been eaten, you got to debrief her, there are always some improvements you can bring to your equipment.

And who was the first happy victim? Ladies first. And then, blondes first. J How does it feel when you’re actually cooked in this huge cauldron, your breasts well tied up, your cunt and ass stuffed with some nice zucchinis, while the cook give the hotter and hotter soup a stir to make you feel the potatoes, the carrots, and the leeks, against your body? I just need three words to answer that question: oh my God!

Being harmlessly cooked in a pot  is like being safely roasted in matter of sexual pleasure and sensual excitement: it’s pure magic, it’s perfect. Anyway, the two sex games are different. If  the roasting is like a tsunami, the cooking is like the relentless movement of the waves beating the shore. Nonetheless, these two methods lead you to the same fate: you sink into an ocean of flawless erotic stimulation, and eventually you drown into tremendous final orgasms. 

Walking on two legs, safety and perseverance, will always make you travel far if not fast. Use your cleverness, use your common sense, when you don’t know, find the data you need, never improvise, it will never work out, and always do it as a couple, two wills and two brains are better than one. You love each other, then take care of each other.

Fake cannibalistic real sex games are elitist, where the so respectable dull people will never dare to go, the wild lovers are running free, as passionate for harmless kinky sex as they are for sweet love. So , to the next time, run free and safely!

Next time: outdoor sex games, mosquitos, voyeurs, and potluck !      

Take care;                                                      Jadoo

 

JADOO’S CORNER : A CLIT, A STRING, AND KNOTTY IDEAS
The good thing with German women is that they always go to the point in matter of sex. A few weeks ago, Uschi, a friend of us, asked me, the day before one of our sado-masochistic sex game based on mock cannibalism: “wouldn’t it be great if you could tie up my clit tomorrow?” She was a little bit surprised when I told her that a dummy run was necessary. If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel (U-2).
Anyway, why would anybody tie a clit? Some women (like me) love to get their clits bound, or they take a great fun when they try to tie a clit (like me again), so why?  
As a female cook I find normal to tie a penis so it really looks like a sausage. Since a clitoris is nothing more than an evolved penis, it could be tempting even for an experienced chef like me to bind it in order to transform it into a mini-knackwurst before cooking it. Of course, the odds will be against me: few clitorises are big enough to be roped. But as the test is really funny and pleasurable, why not try?
Besides, and experienced bdsm'ers are well aware of that, a controlled vasoconstriction is always a pleasure booster for the submissive. It’s understandable to connect the dot:  the clitoris is the most sensitive erogenous zone of the woman’s body. So, if vasoconstriction can make an erogenous zone even more sensitive...  let me think about that ... I just got to tie her clit to make her climax like hell.
A submissive woman will be motivated by something else. When we are making love, our whole being is concentrated in our clitoris, this gland is so hard, so full of exquisite sensations, that we have the false impression that it’s a long, thick, organ. Unfortunately, our throbbing clit is still a button buried in the depths of our labia. It’s so unfair, we can feel it, but we don’t really see it. Every woman is a queen who, from time to time, is wondering about her invisible sceptre.
Dominant or submissive, our motivations are unquestionable. But the ways to fulfil our desires is. Hell is paved with good intentions. Whatever!  Putting that into practice is so delightful that it’s worth of a lesson.
First, there’s a time to practice and a time for the Great Feast. The piglet doomed to be eaten want to have her clit tied while she will be prepared for the cooking? Great! But, even if you and your prey are experienced bdsm’ers, the size of the clit does matter, as well as its shape and the minor labia’s one. So trust me, it’s wiser to figure out what is doable or not the day before the party. Moreover, it’s a perfect psychological and sexual warm-up for the next day’s dinner.
Anyway, let us admit that the delicacy shown on picture 01 will be on my menu tomorrow evening.


Look at the picture: it’s an average un-erected clitoris shot before a sexual intercourse. This wonderful erectile organ cans double its size when correctly stimulated. However, it’s obvious that I will never bind this delicate bean. Why? Because the hood and the frenulum prevent me to do so.
If as a chef my purpose is to train my prey to the future feast, as a lover, the point is to drive her crazy with my caresses.  I love to kiss her and to stroke her sugar almond, gently, softly, before licking it, during a long, long, long time. No haste. Never. Then I usually take a small spot vibrator and work on the clit over, and over, and over, sometimes telling her "uh oh, it looks like a little knackwurst." True or not, who cares? Making love is just a matter of getting in sync with your partner’s desires.
Anyway, at this point, if her erected clitoris isn’t bigger than on picture 01, I know that I will never tie it. This doesn’t mean that it is “too small”. It just means that the erectile tissues (look at the picture 02) are concentrated along the shaft, and not in the glans. Or that the hood is long enough to keep the glans constantly covered.


Will I stop to give my lover what she needs? No. Whether you favour sadomasochism or not, sex is never a matter of size. It’s a matter of love, of friendship, of pleasure given and taken.
Besides, once in five, there are very good surprises! With some women, the glans size is well above the average, and/or the erectile potential of their fem’ sausage is fabulous. When, after half an hour of devoted licking, I can see a clit like on picture 03 (I know this one especially well, it’s mine!) I’m on cloud nine, just because there’s a chance to tie it.


And what about “monster” clits? They’re rare. Nonetheless, some girls have an incredibly yummy clitoris (see the picture 04) that can be tied very easily: the nature made them a gift, their frenulum is open, so the glans can be totally unsheated.


Even rarer are the clitorises with a normal frenulum, but whose corpora cavernosa (the erectile tissues beyond the glans) is partially external, like on picture 05. Never seen one likes that in my whole life, yet, I’ve eaten my content of beans!


Whatever, a good cunilingus is only a preamble. The next step is rougher. There’s a form of crotch bondage I always use to prepare a pussy for cooking, or when a woman likes harsh treatments on her genitals. What you need is to trap the clit between two ropes. The two ropes should be positioned alongside her inner labia, as part of a hip/waist harness. Her clit will be pushed forward and at least partially unsheathed. Look at the picture 06.


This allows me to fiddle with the ropes here and there to stimulate the clit from the sides. Some women don’t appreciate this peculiar sensation. That’s what a rehearsal is for: to figure out the things the future piglet won’t enjoy during the actual cannibalistic game.
Then, I work with an electro sex toy on the raised excited clit, frequently whispering to my lover  naughty sweet nothings like “look at that it is really getting big" or "I think we gonna make out a sausage out of this". Whether her clit is growing or not don’t matter. The important thing is what’s going on in her mind. 
I’m a switcher; I know the both sides of the Paradise. Being a tormentor turns me on as long as I am a pleasure bringer too. I can fulfil my sadistic desires only if I can satisfy the masochistic envies of my lover, and if I can see that she’s taking pleasure from my tortures.  
The important thing for me is to answer to one question: “why is she doing that?” I’m able to understand her motivations because sometimes I have the same ones: when I want to get my clit tied, I just want to believe that my clitoris is bigger than usual, that it is erected beyond its “normal” possibilities.  I don’t ask to my husband to make my clit bigger, I ask him to make me believe that my clit is a little sausage, ready to be cooked and eaten. It’s completely different.
That’s why the psychological aspect of the next step is so important. When I show to my lover a glass suction chamber, I always tell her "gonna pump this up until it is full with your clit”. And her look on me, or on the pumping device, is so grateful that it always gives me the answer to another question: “why am I doing that?” Just because sadomasochism is the most intense form of love.
I always lick her clit again, and once I feel that her button is as hard as possible, I press it between two fingers, very firmly. I make it roll between my index and my thumb, and then I release it, so she gets an incredible blood rush. I secure immediately the vacuum chamber over her clit and I add vacuum a little at a time.
The key word is “progressive”. The pressure must decrease very slowly. The pump will grab on and hold well enough to provide a gentle pulling sensation. This is this very perception your piglet is looking for: the feeling that her clit is enlarging. I always keep the things under control: her organ must never become purple, and the pumping can’t long for more than ten or fifteen minutes. It isn’t supposed to be really painful. Of course, the harsher version of clit‘s pumping isn’t a forbidden dream, but it’s out of the topic.
And I speak. It’s the most important thing. Gosh it’s getting so huge. It looks like a real sausage. What a delicacy, so big, so hard. I’m going to enjoy eating a big piece like this one.   
Of course the real effects of clit’s pumping differ greatly, depending on the size of the erected clitoris before the pumping begins. Don’t believe the usual craps you will hear here and there: an average clit won’t be larger than in the picture 07.


However, a big clitoris can be fattened up to the size of the superb fem’s sausage you can see on picture 08, and a huge one to the quasi-penis you can admire on picture 09.



What if the delicious bean, after ten minutes or so, isn’t big enough to be captured into a knot? Once again, I don’t care. It’s the diamond in the treasure’s chest, and it deserves to be cuddled. Or to be martyrized, depending on my lover’s desires. In matter of kinky games, vasoconstriction and vasodilatation are powerful tools, for pain and pleasure.
I can’t bind her clit? Any high quality SM clamp (designed for SM sex games, they are adjustable to the amount of pinch you want) allows me to work on the clit in a more conventional way. It's a constant twinge the entire time it's on. And once you remove it and the blood rushes is back it makes the area very sensitive.
However, if I’m in luck (see the pictures 08 and 09), I won’t let pass the opportunity to check if some clit bondage will be feasible the day the piglet will be prepared for roasting. The size is one thing, the shape of the clitoris is another one: what you can tie is the part that extends from the tip of the clit, to the frenulum (see picture 10)


When I remove the pumping device I know that my lover’s clitoris will keep its maximal length for no more than 10 or 15 seconds. It’s the time I have to secure the knot around her fully erected little bald man in the boat! But not any knot… I’m deep into BDSM since my 18, and I can tell you that even the simplest thing can be dangerous if you’re your own teacher, or worst, if mainstream porn is your source of knowledge.
NEVER use a normal knot to bind any body part! Especially the clitoris: a normal loop will be prone to cutting into the flesh and hence, cutting off circulation. How many minutes before nerve damage happened? Maybe one. Look at picture 11. This photo is quite (in)famous amongst BDSM tutors like me and my man: it’s an archetype of the stupidities you can see in mainstream porn. Do like this, and you can kiss your clit goodbye!



There’s only one safe way to tie up a clit: a slipknot. Moreover, I prefer a slipknot that also has a pull-to-release end (see picture 12).



Any good bondage tutorial will have a chapter about that. And safety is paramount. The knot must remain visible. The string must never be covered by the flesh.
I usually tighten the knot firmly - but not too much – so my lover can enjoy a mild but immediate vasoconstriction. Then I can make her suffer, or climax: it’s entirely up to her. However, the tighter the knot, the shorter the game.
My favourite?  As a dominant, a rather loose knot and a long and voracious tasting of the compressed organ. As a submissive, something more severe, a controlled but strict bondage like in picture 12. It can’t long for more than three or four minutes but it’s painful and delightful, at the same time. Besides, it’s well enough to trigger a formidable reaction when my poor little sausage is freed from the knot: the vasodilatation following the strong and not-so-short vasoconstriction makes my clitoris so sensitive that I always explode on my lover’s tongue after a few seconds.
Note that throughout an actual preparation for the cooking things are very different: the arousal, the sensual excitement, the caresses, the oiling and seasoning, and the heat during the roasting, will make the piglet’s clit grow even more than during the dry run. So I always keep the knot quite loose, in order to save some place in the loop for the oversized clit. A good cannibal chef is like a chess player: she (he) has to think before the game begins!
Of course a loose slipknot isn’t very efficient, so the vasoconstriction will be too to make the clit growing bigger. The crotch rope, or the seasoning and the heat will be far more effective. But the psychological effects are undeniable, for the piglet as well as for the cook and the guests too.
I have to admit that seasoning a tied clit is incredibly exciting. And when it’s my turn to be on the menu, when I tell to myself  “oh yes, they’re binding my clit as a sausage” I feel so horny that I start gushing like a fountain.
Nonetheless, whether a clit can be tied or not during a mock cannibalistic game is secondary. Same for rehearsals. I’m in my forties now. And all this years of wonderful sex, with my husband, with our friends, lead me to this conclusion: on the way to any purpose, the way is a goal by itself. The keys to the orgasms are hidden in your heart, in your mind, and not only in your pussy.

Play safe. Jadoo.

And to finish in a glorious way, the little clit of Anna aka me, my dearest followers: